Sunday, April 20, 2014



a lot of us say that we want to be in jannah, be together forever in jannah, be friends in jannah, be neighbours in jannah.

yes, our ultimate goal for the life in the Hereafter is Paradise.

"...until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself"

i want my family & friends to be in jannah.
i want all muslims to be in jannah.

i remember when i started wearing shawls, when i started to cover my aurat.
i wasn't really covering my aurat then. i was still wearing skinny jeans, 3/4 long sleeve shirts, my shawl didn't cover my chest, my neck was exposed.
ah, you name it la.

and gradually, an increase of comments from people requesting, asking, and advised me to take out all of my past pictures of me not covering up got my attention.

at first i was annoyed.
i thought that it's my right, since it is my blog and it's my life.
"my past is past la! why do you have to judge me based on my past? that's between me and Allah!" said the old me.
naive la kan masa tu.

in the end, i just ignored those comments.

and then, one time i went to usrah, and i asked the ustaz about aib manusia.

from what i understand about aib ni, we should do our best to cover it.
tutup aib sendiri. tutup aib orang.

sebab aib ni boleh timbulkan fitnah.

fine, orang yang fitnah kita la kena jahanam nanti. tapi, kita yang bagi diorang the reason to fitnah, then kita pun kira cari pasal kan.

that's why we shouldn't share intimate things or specific details of our household to others, lagi lagi dalam blog, twitter, facebook and all. sebab kena jaga aib keluarga. especially husband.

same goes to our friends and families.

our aurats are our aib too.
so kalau kita tak nak orang share aib kita when we've tried so hard to keep it hidden, then why should we expose orang lain punya aib?
walaupun orang tu kata tak kisah - itu sekarang. what if esok lusa dia berubah? what if dia dah berniqab before us?
what right do we have to show others (and strangers) our loved ones' aurat?
we don't.

if we truly love each other, truly want jannah together, shouldn't we protect each other?

so i've tried my very best to tutup aib diri sendiri, and even others. i've deleted from every source i can reach and even messaged and emailed people to get rid of my old pics. tapi tu pun, i don't know if i covered it all.
i know some people yang dah berhijrah pun ada this problem..

there are times i had to share pics of others yang tak tutup aurat.. sebab kerja la, kena tolong promote event orang la, and my cousin being in the entertainment industry, sometimes i terpaksa share gambar dia.. dia pun nak cari rezeki kan and i nak tolong.
tapi i delete after i feel people got the message. tu pun i rasa guilty sangat. and up till today, i don't know if it was the right thing to do. in future, what i should i do in this circumstance? any advice?

i still struggle with this. i sometimes have the urge to share pictures of me with my family and friends (yang tak tutup aurat la) and kekadang i hampir tak kisah dah pasal benda ni.
tapi kena jugak psycho and remind myself over and over again that i can't and i shouldn't.
not for my sake, but for theirs.

i ni takde la kuat sangat.
that's why i'm sharing this now.
because i hope you (my friends, family, readers) can help me and keep me on this path i've chosen.
and because i i truly want jannah for everyone.

ps: considering this to be a late night rambling, i hope that i got my message across.
this has been on my mind lately, padahal it's cerita lama. i actually needed guts to share this.
thank you for reading.
and thank you for understanding.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

makeup vadever


ok i just have to share this:


i think this was InTrend somewhere in 2010? 2011?
serious tak ingat.

ish, berdarah hidung tengok gambo sendiri..

meh. kite be honest la ye.

i like makeup. i am a girl after all. normal la kan?
i'm always amazed how girls can look so pretty in makeup.
like the smokey effect, or the summer/spring whatever eyeshadow party, yes. i loike okay?

i watch michelle phan's makeup tutorial, like all of you have. AH! toksah nak "eh mana ada, i memang naturally pandai bermakeup" with me! TOKSAH!
you watch michelle phan. 
i know. 
i saw you.


as much as i like makeup, sehonest honest honestnya.. i never actually felt pretty with makeup.. makeup tebal i mean. full on with eyebrow shaping, bronzing, eyelash extensions, blabladibla.
i can do with eyeliner, blusher, lipstick, and powder. 
and foundation occasionally.

more than that, i rasa macam i'm Joker. no joke. i think almost everytime after i get my makeup done, i will make an ugly face.
tengok mirror, and then buat muka horror, muka buruk. i really don't get why i do it... but i do it anyway.

"mommy, do i look pweeeetttyyyyy?"


biarlah orang kata "you look nice/good/pretty/vadever", i don't buy it. i just do what i have to do with the makeup on, and when it's over, BAM! wipe it off! BEGONE! 

in a way, bagus la kan sebab low maintenance. i don't have to go and buy makeup set since mine doesn't really finish that fast. i've been using the same blusher since i graduated, in 2010! 

yeah yeah. i pernah buat tutorial makeup la, review makeup la.
tapi... in the end, tak dapek nak lekat.
wuuuuhuhuuuuuuuuu *nanes*

in the end, i would always use my old makeup set. 

"they're still good, so why waste them?
oh these other makeup sets? well, i'll use them next time." ALL THE TIME. this dialog has been running for years. YEARSSSS!!

so that's why, i've decided to give away my makeup sets, the ones i hardly use, to others!
buat makeup giveaway kat @lakayena was the best thing to do, rather than just bagi kat orang yang bukannya nak sangat pun kan.
that way, i'll be happy coz i won't feel guilty for not using them, and i can make others happy!
sounds like a good deal kannnnnnn!

i genius.

merci =p

ok la.

so itu je nak cerita.
i like sephora. and notebooks. oh, and pens. 

end of story.

****ok, moral of the story:

if you have good goods that you don't use anymore or haven't even used, for instance, your clothes, shoes, bags, scarves, makeup, instead of hoarding them, give them away. perhaps make your own giveaway contest among your friends or exchange them with your friends/family. can even donate them to the orphanage! (provided the things you want to let go are appropriate. takkan nak bagi baju macam nak clubbing kat diorang, kan..) 
so many ways we can let go of our things, it's just whether you want to do it or not.
i suggest that you do it! =D
it's fun anyway! 

i hope this somewhat gives you an idea on stuff you have to let go & how.

ok bebs, 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

sedap sehingga menjilat...apa apa saja~

ok i tak tahan.

ingat nak tido je tapi the memory is still fresh, so might as well =p

nadrah just fell asleep at 11pm.
i just got back to class to find my mom & nadrah on the bed. nadrah was asleep, but the minute i spoke to mum (suara takde la kuat pun!), her eyes started to open.

slowly she was blinking, and then, PAP! terbeliak habis.


anyway, i was forcing her to sleep just now. had the lights off, singing her a zikir and tepok tepok bontot dia.
whenever she's on the way to sleepland, she'll rub her eyes.
so she was rubbing away sambil buat muka protest takmo tido.

i kept tepok-ing her bontot berpampers tu till she was finally letting her eyes close.
yang kelakarnya, she wanted to suck something.
she found my wrist, and started to lick it like crazy! nak nangis tahan gelak ok sebab geli geliman!!


what happened to me triggered my memory of last night.
i teringat last night, in the middle of the night, i went to the toilet and i guess i accidentally woke her up.
so when i got back from the toilet, i saw nadrah's face at my husband's elbow.
sebab masa tu gelap kan, so i thought nadrah nak kena siku ngan suami, so masa nak alihkan nadrah, i was like "eh, nadrah is awake?"


dia tengah dengan syoknya, menjilat dan menyedut suami's elbow!! ANNNDDDDD suami tido tak perasan pape pun!!


ah ah..

pon boleh nadrah. pon boleh.


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Doa Akhir Zaman Ni


Ya Allah, 
Aku berlindung kepada Mu dari seksa kubur, 
dari seksa neraka jahannam, 
dari fitnah hidup dan mati, 
dan dari fitnah dajjal.

Ni bukanlah doa akhir zaman, tapi di akhir zaman ni, kita doa doa la supaya dielakkan dari all of the above.


Friday, March 28, 2014

Ami Schaheera


"Ami dah pergi. Semoga dia ditempatkan di tempat orang orang yang beriman. 26/3/2014. 01:29 - naz-"
- was the last message we received from her on whatsapp.

nak cerita kat blog pun rasa berat..

i've written an entry of her in my diary and it went on for 6 pages. 6!
even my delivery story didn't make it that long.

walaupun terasa berat, i want to share our Ami with everyone.

so here's what i know about her =)

Ami Schaheera was an amazing, iconic woman.
she's (was and still is) a walking inspiration. from fashion, to health.
she was diagnosed with leukemia and she fought on for 4 years.

seriously, tengok dia pun tak tau pun dia ada something like that!
hebat sungguh dia..

i knew sis ami since around early 2011 i think..
her fashion style is super bold and colourful, but she is very softspoken.
when i knew she had leukemia, i was surprised because... come la. see la dia macam mana kan.
she's so cool! i masa tengok (tengok je tau) dia dulu pun rasa malu sangat sebab dia macam terlalu cool.

i was a budak hingusan masa kenal dia. i thought having leukemia was like having a fever everyday. it sucks but meh. life goes on.
ignorant gila kan? ugh. tumbuk muka sendiri.

then, ada one time i had a really high fever, and i thought of how ami is battling cancer.
padan muka maria. rasa kau.

sebab i ni jarang demam, so masa demam tu baru la ingat how sakit demam & lemah sakit tu macam mana.
and to think she had to face "sakit" everyday? she had successfully led a colourful life nonetheless!
hebat kan?

i don't remember how it happened, but we became friends! (so grateful for that fact! kalau tak, kenal dia as a fan je)
she was a few years older than me, cooler than me, had better and maturer friends than me, yet she accepted me as her friend!
dia takde pun that "i'm older therefore you listen to me" kind of attitude. langsung!
she treated me as an equal, listened to my hingusan stories, even took my advice!
*tangisan dalam kerinduan*

she was such a good listener.
also a good story teller =)

alhamdulillah, even though we're not the best of friends, we had our moments together =')

on the 25th of march, we were still chatting in our whatsapp group, as if everything was fine and dandy. later that day, she asked us for a zikir for semput/asma.
kitorang pun apa lagi. share apa kita tau.

i knew she wasn't feeling so well and thought of seeing her at the hospital.. baru ingat nak pergi the next day.

tapi.. Allah loves her more..

imagine how shocked we all were when we got that message.....

yesterday afternoon, i was looking through her pictures in her facebook. i realised how much she cherished her relationships; with her husband, her families, her friends, even her ex-colleagues!

compared to her, i appreciate people like peanuts. depan mata makan. takde depan mata, tak cari.
dalam erti kata lain, i take people around me for granted.
sometimes i boleh la ingat ingat. tapi memang tak sehebat cara ami ingat orang orang dia sayang.

sis ami's passing on to the other side has truly taught me a lot of life lessons.
although.. i feel kinda bad for having to learn it this way.. i mean, i should've learnt them from her when she was still around.. tu la i kata. i ni macam ughh.

anyway, i've decided.
i will start living my life to the fullest!
i will take more pictures of people i care about!
i will print them out and put the pictures in my own photo album! a physical one! not in computer!
i will visit the sick! i will ask for their forgiveness!
i will write about my friends and families in my diary & blog!
i will open myself up to depend on others!
i will start trusting people again!

so can you tell the kind of person sis ami was?
told you she was amazing. =)

this post isn't all sad and sappy because sis ami wasn't like that. she was vibrant, spirited, passionate, and overall awesome like WAH!

she's an inspiration!

please doa for her ya friends?
Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa-dosanya, kasihanilah ia, lindungilah ia dan maafkanlah ia, muliakanlah tempat kembalinya, lapangkan kuburnya, bersihkanlah ia dengan air, salju dan air yang sejuk. Bersihkanlah ia dari segala kesalahan, sebagaimana Engkau telah membersihkan pakaian putih dari kotoran, dan gantilah rumahnya -di dunia- dengan rumah yang lebih baik -di akhirat- serta gantilah keluarganya -di dunia- dengan keluarga yang lebih baik, dan pasangan di dunia dengan yang lebih baik. Masukkanlah ia ke dalam syurga-Mu dan lindungilah ia dari seksa kubur atau seksa api neraka.

Thank you =')

by the way, sis ami was not a perfect person, just like you & i. therefore please, please forgive her if she had rubbed you the wrong way, or hurt you. she's only human. she makes mistakes too.. if dia ada hutang ke apa with you, you feel like you need to tell her something, please leave your email in the comment section, and i will contact you =)

thank you all.
salam =)

Monday, March 24, 2014

La Kayena


For some of you who don't know, i've started a business of minding my own business.
ahahahakkkk =p
selama ni, asyik promote barang orang lain.
sekarang, nak promote barang sendiri.

feeling kinda shy doing this.. macam "angkat bakul sendiri" as my mom would call it.

andyvays, i think i've blogged about La Kayena before. entah.. tak ingat. 
and alhamdulillah, when i started last year, dapat gak sambutan. masa tu jual Jubah Dahlia, Jubah Melati, Jubah Melur and Jubah lily.

thank you guys ;')
(in case you're one of the jubah owners. hehe!)

this time around, i've introduced new additions to my old collections!
other than the free size jubah (Jubah Lily), i am selling an all-time-favourite-but-different-version-and-slightly-cheaper-jubah-dahlia called Jubah Isma AND my super favourite, Jubah Neyu!
Jubah Isma dah sold out for now.
in sha Allah nak restock.

tapi ni i nak share dengan you all how i wear my Jubah Neyu!

*site visit*
OOTD sket meks!
suka combo ni: Fuschia + Purple
vibrant macam Spring! hehehehee =D

Ni kalau nak nampak mature sket, pakai hitam

see the difference?
same tudung, different jubah colour. 
makes a whole lot of difference in my opinion! =D

dan ini pun combo yang i loike
Gold + Brown
macam chris brown masa dia dye rambut blonde.

chris brown's reaction when asked if his new album cover was intentional or accidental


kinda looks like it was accidental. but probably his best shot?

memain je ye bang!

back to JUBAH!

i think Jubah Wrap-ish is kinda in now.
check this one out!

this one is Love To Dress's Safar Pelisse Dress from Fashionvalet!
ceh ceh! muka pheeling kononss!
(padahal tengah layan angin)

so you understand now why i strongly encourage you to get your own Jubah Neyu? and other Jubahs on you should! coz they're awesome! 

but in all honesty, i made La Kayena to make us girls be comfy at dressing modestly.
... and i hope i have achieved that.
heeeee =B

for more info,

Facebook ada : La Kayena
Twitter ada: @la_kayena
Instagram pun ada: @lakayena

thank you all for your support!
and i hope you can forgive me for my simple packaging and all. tengah berusaha nak naikkan modal =B
(in case you're one of my customers. ihiks!)

Friday, March 21, 2014

Senyum Gigi Straight Abang Van Tesco The Movie

assalamualaikum bebehsss!

because this is my first time ever beli groceries online, i thought i should share just how JAKUN i was!

Encik tengah tunjuk script untuk filemnya yang akan datang.
Senyum Gigi Straight Abang Van Tesco The Movie
there were a few stuff on my grocery list that were unavailable, so encik ni tengah tunjuk la apa yang ada, and dia exchange dengan apa

Puan tengah sonok semacam

(Wearing Kei&Kori top from Zalora)

Encik ni tengah nak tunjuk the stuff i bought.
and the stuff that was exchanged with.
oh, in case you wanna know, if let's say you ordered brand A of an item and it was out of stock, they will bring brand B of the item and you have the option of accepting or rejecting the item.
same as your veges.
say you don't think it's fresh enough, you can reject them. 

and then you pay them using card.

simple bebs!

have you tried tesco online yet? best kan?
rasa cam noob sangat sebab baru first time try padahal dah lama dah wujud service ni. hehe!